People usually think that my confidence is indestructable, indefatigueable. Even close friends who’ve seen me reduced to a heap of teary doubt think that my confidence never wavers.
And they are right.
Because what I have managed, is to develop my inner cheerleader.
Let’s take a step back: I see confidence not as an all or nothing kind of arrangement that you are either lucky enough to have — or not. It’s nothing you have to be born with or will forever lack. I see confidence as something that can be tickled out.
Start by thinking about the things you do really well. What are you good at? What are the things that make you feel great? What are your hidden or not so hidden superpowers? –Maybe they are small things. Doesn’t matter. Acknowledge them. Pat yourself on the back for them. Cheer yourself on for them. It’s worth it.
That we are our harshest critics isn’t new. But beating ourselves up won’t get us anywhere. We should feel more awesome.
It’s up to us.
We can’t sit around and wait until someone comes by and validates how we feel about ourselves. We have to find a way to feel good about ourselves. It’s not easy. But there’s no other way. There will always be challenges, there will always be something to be bummed out about. Maybe we didn’t win that client, maybe our presentation fell flat, maybe someone told us to our face that something we did left a lot to be desired. If we want to be able to bounce back from those disappointments, we need to find a way to make do with our inner resources. We need to unlock our inner cheerleader.
It will take a little while to shut up the inner critic and to turn on the inner cheerleader. Keep at it.
Why don’t you make time in your day for a little self-praise:
- “I’m really good at this.”
- “I’m absolutely outstanding when it comes to that.”
- “I am amazing at this. Nobody has ever been as amazing and I doubt anybody ever will. I am a superstar.”
You think that’s a bit much? Well, remember that you usually let your inner critic go all the way too. You let her say the harshest, meanest things about you, don’t you? — Why not let your inner cheerleader go a little overboard as well?
Our thinking influences our being. And I’d really rather run the risk of feeling a little too good about myself than feeling too bad.
What do you think? Have you found your inner cheerleader or does your iron-clad confidence not need any crutches? Tell me in the comments.
– Katja Bartholmess. “It’s my passion to inspire and motivate other ambitious women with my stories and experiences from over a decade of entrepreneurship.”